Literally Speaking...

Jon exhibits a common 'symptom' of Asperger's, legalism. He is very literal, and all his ducks need to be in a row or he gets agitated.

It is odd, however, that he can be very legalistic with others, demanding certain behavior from them, while granting license to himself. I used to think of this as rebellion, and truly, when a child is old enough to understand obedience and the biblical reasons for it, it can be. If a rule seems unreasonable to him, he feels that he simply doesn't have to follow it. However, if someone else breaks a rule that directly affects him, he's all over it. And he won't let go. Because of the literalness combined with a hyper focus, he also has trouble granting forgiveness.

In an old book, "Please Don't Eat the Daisies," there is a situation in which the Mom leaves, having told her children, generally, what was expected in her absence. When she returns, the vase on the dining room table contains only the stems of what used to be daisies. She inquires as to their fate. Finally, it becomes apparent that one of the children has EATEN them! The child in question states, simply, that 'she didn't tell them NOT to'! This is Asperger's.

A person with Asperger's often has trouble with the LETTER of the law. They think, really!, that if they did literally what you said, that they have obeyed. But the SPIRIT of the law often eludes them. How, then, are they to be taught about God? God is abstract. But don't be too hard on an Asperger child in this. Jesus had to clarify the spirit of the law to the Pharisees too. They had some trouble accepting that murder and adultery were HEART issues. Abstract.

Can such a child understand God? Given that God is at work in our lives on a regular basis, yes! God-sightings must be grabbed hold of and expressed as often as possible.

Recently, there was a report about a woman who had been recently diagnosed with Asperger's at the age of 43 (I think that was her age). She expressed how she has difficulty reading facial expressions. She has learned to watch for body language and listen for voice inflections. But by the time someone is stomping out of the room, they are already offended. It is hard for these people, because they don't mean to be rude, they just don't get how their tone of voice or actions affect the people around them. Consequently, they often feel that everything they do is wrong. They often feel flawed.

Ephesians 4:29 tells us to let no unwholesome words come out of your mouth, but only what is helpful for building up, encouraging and meeting the need of the moment. Understanding the need helps me to speak clearly to my son, so that he can be encouraged.