From my own experience

I'll speak first from my own experience. There is also a great deal of research in this area, and some good discussion blogs where parents can discuss with other parents the special needs of an Asperger child.

My Asperger son is 13. We have come a long way, and his condition is not as extreme as some that I have seen. Sometimes the milder cases are more difficult, because the child seems so 'normal' on so many occasions. In an extreme case, you expect the difficulties, because they are more prominent. (Don't misunderstand, I'm not saying this is 'easy.')

When Jon was born, his collar bone was broken. So he entered the world in excruciating pain. We did not know of the break until he was 4 months old! Every time I nursed him on the one side, he screamed. He only slept for a few hours at a time and when he woke up, there was always a high pitched scream. Due to the stress, I could not produce the nourishment that he needed and he began to starve. To this day, he acts as if he's starving, and must eat often, though he is so thin, we joke that if he turns to the side and sticks out his tongue, someone will mistake him for a zipper. The doctor put him on a milk formula, and because of the emergency situation, I consented. What else could I do? But it turns out that he is allergic to milk. Not so much that he could not thrive on it, but enough that it set him back.

When he was 3 I broke his collar bone again. He kept running at his sister and trying to hit her over the head with a large caste iron truck. Even though I reprimanded him, he simply laughed and continued. I suppose I should have simply taken the truck, after the first time, but I had not learned about how destructive 'threatening and repeating' is for any child, Asperger's or not. After the 4th time, I saw him running again out of the corner of my eye and reached out to stop him before he hurt his sister. I caught his hip, because he was too far away, and he flipped over on his shoulder, bending the bone in the same place it had bent before. I cried for weeks.

His favorite stuffed animal was/is Eeyore. He would sit and tickle his nose with Eeyore's tail. The poor thing is 'real' now and still ever present. I don't know how much longer his legs and ears will remain attached. The tail is LONG gone.

Typically, although I still did not understand biblical discipline (not to say I've got the corner on the market now!), I was patient with my children. Jon created a rather tense home, however, and I began to find myself at my whit's end. Purpose began to get fuzzy in disciplining them, because I felt like I had to watch every action, every minute, and I never got a break. Jon is my 4th child, so I had 4 under the age of 8 at that time. When Jon was between 5 and 7 he became violent. There were times I actually locked him out of the house because I was afraid that he would hurt us. His anger sparked quickly and ran hot. He hung onto his anger, at that hot level, for hours. I could not understand some of these episodes. It just didn't seem reasonable, even for a young child, to be angry all the time. And anger was not necessarily the reason he would lash out. One time, in his stroller, at about age 2, his brother walked past and Jon reached out and smacked him, hard, completely unprovoked. Then he sat back and looked around as if nothing had happened. By the time he was 7, he would run outside and climb the tall pine in our front yard. He'd stay there for hours. I was seriously afraid someone would call the police.

By this time, I began to doubt God's wisdom in giving me these children. I became certain that I was a terrible mother and that maybe I should let someone else raise them. Nothing I did, though I began to research biblical discipline and training, worked. Let me repeat it, NOTHING worked. Spankings, given with explanation and prayer, and administered without anger, simply made Jon more angry and more determined to do what he wanted to do. He was like a cat who could suddenly turn and tear streaks in your skin.

I'm out of time, but I'll post more later - perhaps my experience can help someone else.